How to stop assuming the worst and bring balance to your thinking
Assuming the worst (also known as “catastrophizing” or “fortune telling”) is a thinking error where someone predicts negative future outcomes without good evidence to support these predictions. It’s a form of cognitive distortion that leads to anxiety and stress, as the person convinces themselves that an event will turn out badly, often assuming an unlikely and catastrophic outcome.
Examples of Assuming the Worst
What does assuming the worst look like in the real world? Quite often it looks like the following. While you read, ask yourself if you’ve ever had thoughts like this.
"I just know I'm going to mess up this job interview. They won't like me, and I won't get the job."
"If I go to the party, I’ll end up standing alone and looking like a fool. No one will talk to me."
“I made countless mistakes this quarter. My performance review with my boss will be terrible.”
"If I tell my spouse how I really feel, they'll get angry and leave me."
"This headache must be something serious like a brain tumor. I'm sure the doctor will give me bad news."
“I have to cancel on my friends. They’ll be so disappointed, I bet they stop inviting me to things.”
Challenging Catastrophic Predictions
Catastrophic predictions like those above can be challenged in several ways. Consider which ways of challenging the thoughts speak to you the most.
Evidential challenge - “What good evidence do I have that this terrible thing will happen?”
Probability challenge - “How likely is it for my negative prediction to come true?”
Optimistic challenge - “Am I overlooking any positives? What good things am I forgetting?”
Perspectival challenge - “If a good friend knew my prediction, what would they say to me?”
Temporal challenge - “How have similar situations turned out in the past?”
“Even if” challenge - “Even if it doesn’t go well, will it be as bad as you think?”
Thought Challenging in Action
Now let’s see how these challenges can help create a more balanced thought.
Original thought - "I just know I'm going to mess up this job interview. They won't like me, and I won't get the job."
Evidential challenge - “What evidence do you have that they won’t like you? Would they have asked you to interview if they didn’t think you were a good candidate for the job?”
More balanced thought - “They saw potential in me, which is why I was invited for the interview. I can prepare well and show them my best qualities.”Original thought - "If I go to the party, I’ll end up standing alone and looking like a fool. No one will talk to me."
Probability challenge - “How likely is it that no one will talk to you? And you could start a conversation with someone, maybe with the person who invited you.”
More balanced thought - “It’s unlikely that I’ll be completely ignored at the party. I can approach people and start conversations, especially with those who invited me or seem friendly.”Original thought - “I made countless mistakes this quarter. My performance review with my boss will be terrible.”
Optimistic challenge - “What went well this quarter? Are there positives that you’re overlooking?”
More balanced thought - “While I did make some mistakes, I also had several successes this quarter. I'll acknowledge my mistakes and focus on how I can improve, but I also need to recognize the good work I've done.”Original thought - "This headache must be something serious like a brain tumor. I'm sure the doctor will give me bad news."
Perspectival challenge - “What would a friend say to you if they knew you were predicting you have a brain tumor?”
More balanced thought - “My friend would probably remind me that headaches are common and usually not a sign of something serious. They might suggest that I wait for the doctor's assessment rather than jumping to the worst-case scenario.”Original thought - "If I tell my spouse how I really feel, they'll get angry and leave me."
Temporal challenge - “How has it gone when you’ve opened up to your spouse in the past?”
More balanced thought - “In the past, when I've shared my feelings with my spouse, they’ve listened and we've been able to have constructive conversations. While there's a chance of disagreement, it’s more likely that we can work through it together and strengthen our bond.”Original thought - “I have to cancel on my friends. They’ll be so disappointed, I bet they stop inviting me to things.”
“Even if” challenge - “Even if they’re disappointed, do you think they won’t want to hang out with you anymore?”
More balanced thought - “Even if my friends are disappointed that I have to cancel, it’s unlikely that they’ll stop inviting me to things altogether. They understand that sometimes plans change, and we can always reschedule or find another time to get together.”
Running a Behavioral Experiment
If mentally challenging a catastrophic prediction fails to reduce your distress, you could try running what is called a “behavioral experiment.” A behavioral experiment is a practical activity designed to test the validity of a negative thought or prediction. By planning and carrying out a specific action, you gather real-life evidence to see if your predicted outcome happens.
For example, if you predict you’ll perform poorly in a presentation and be judged negatively, a behavioral experiment would involve giving the presentation and observing the actual reactions of the audience. The results often show that the feared outcome is less likely than initially believed, helping you to develop more realistic and positive thoughts.
What if “The Worst” Really Is Likely?
If “the worst” really is likely, that is, the evidence makes the truth of your fear more probable than not, then you’re not “assuming the worst” but rather have good reason to worry. In such cases, trying to convince yourself otherwise is counterproductive. You should rather spring into action to change your situation. By taking proactive steps, you can either prevent the feared outcome or at least minimize its impact. This approach empowers you to handle the situation more effectively and reduces feelings of helplessness and anxiety. Consider doing the following:
Think practical - What can I do right now that will make things even a tiny bit better for me?
Make a plan - If I can’t act now, what can I do in the near future?
Overcome obstacles - What things do I need to help this situation? Am I lacking a resource/information? If so, how can I get it?
Put off procrastinating - Is there something I’m putting off or avoiding? How will I feel when that task is completed?
Dismiss distractions - What distractions am I using to escape from the situation? Are those distractions helping me?
Conclusion
By implementing these strategies, you can better manage your thoughts, reduce anxiety, and approach situations with a more balanced perspective. This not only improves your mental health but also enhances your ability to navigate life's challenges effectively.
