When you’re feeling distressed and want to find relief, remember to “S.T.O.P.P.” The S.T.O.P.P. skill is like a Swiss army knife for your emotions, combining five powerful tools into one handy technique. With some practice, you'll master S.T.O.P.P. and be able to use it throughout your lifetime to manage your feelings. Let’s break down each step.

S - Stop for a Moment

The first step in S.T.O.P.P. is “Stop for a moment.” Stopping for a moment means putting aside what you’re doing and giving 100% of your focus to the steps you can take right now to experience relief from your emotions. If you can’t put your task aside, visualize putting your emotions “on a shelf” to deal with later and shift your focus to something else. When that later time comes, return to the STOPP skill.

T - Take a Double Inhale

The second step in S.T.O.P.P. is “Take a double inhale.” One of the simplest and most effective ways to turn down the intensity of our emotions is something we all do all the time—breathing. However, we rarely stop and think about our breathing and so miss out on an opportunity to better manage our feelings. A recent study found that something called the “physiological sigh” or “double inhale” is a potent coping skill that boosts peoples’ moods and increases feelings of relaxation faster than mindfulness meditation.

A Breathing Method to Try

Inhale through your nose steadily for 3 seconds.
Pause for a brief moment.
Inhale again sharply for 1 second.
Exhale through pursed lips for 5 seconds or more.

You will likely feel more relaxed after just one or two of these breaths, but you can do more if needed. Stanford neurobiologist Dr. Andrew Huberman explains and demonstrates the double inhale in this video.

O - Observe Your Experience Without Judgment

The third step in S.T.O.P.P. is “Observe your experience without judgment.” Answer the questions below about your experience of distressing emotions (I encourage you to write your answers down, but you can also say them in your head).

What thoughts or images are going through my mind?
“I acted really awkward, people think I’m weird.”
What bodily sensations am I feeling?
“I feel shaky and my heart is pounding.”
What thing am I compelled to do?
“I want to go home and watch TV all night to relax.”
Are there other emotions I feel?
“I feel embarrassed and a little angry at myself.”

The thoughts and feelings you have when you are distressed are normal parts of human experience. You’re not bad, defective, inferior, or unqualified because you have them. In fact, it’s completely understandable that you have them. You’re not alone in what you're experiencing, so notice these things and resist judging or criticizing yourself for them.

P - Put the Situation in Perspective

The fourth step in S.T.O.P.P. is “Put the situation in perspective.” When we’re feeling distressed, it’s easy to get “tunnel vision” where we only focus on the problem. In these times it’s important to step back and take a broader perspective. Answer a few of these questions (again, either by writing them down or answering them in your head) to bring context to your emotions:

Will the event that made me feel this way matter in a week or a month?
Is there good evidence my worry will come true? Is there good evidence my worry will not come true?
Am I jumping to conclusions about this situation?
Am I only looking at the negatives? Are there positives I am overlooking?
Are the thoughts I am struggling with helping or hindering me?
If a friend or loved one knew I was having this thought, what would they say to me?
What encouraging words would it be helpful for me to hear?
Am I holding myself to a higher standard than I hold other people to?
Am I blaming myself for something I do not have control (or not complete control) over?

P - Practice What Works

The fifth and final step in S.T.O.P.P. is “Practice what works.” Negative emotions in small doses can motivate us to act on what is bothering us, but too much negative emotion tends to lock us into an unhealthy pattern of behavior (e.g., excessive sadness leads to less activity, which leads to more sadness, and the cycle repeats). You can escape this pattern by taking practical steps. Practicing what works is often the key to long-term relief from mental health struggles. Answer these questions (and act on them!) to get yourself back on the right track:

What can I do for myself right now (even if I don’t totally feel like it) that will make things even a tiny bit better for me?
If I can’t act now, what can I do in the near future?
What things do I need to help this situation? Am I lacking a resource/information? If so, how can I get it?
Is there something I’m putting off or avoiding? How will I feel when that task is completed?
What distractions am I using to escape from the situation? Are those distractions really helping me?
What could I do right now that would make me feel proud of myself later?

Take the 7-day S.T.O.P.P. challenge

Wondering if the S.T.O.P.P. skill can help you? Why not try it out every day for a week and see? One way to incorporate it into your routine is to set aside 5 minutes or so after dinner or during lunch to go through the steps. Here’s an image you can download or screenshot to keep S.T.O.P.P. with you on your cellphone and a STOPP worksheet you can print out and write on (or fill out on the computer). If it would make even a 10% difference for you would you try it? If you decide to take the challenge, cheers to better mental health!

Feeling sad, mad, or worried? Remember S.T.O.P.P.